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Month: January 2016

Ready to Share

Ready to Share

I am at the point in this process of being ready to share.

I am not going to be ashamed of my struggles.

I am beginning to realize many other moms, wives, and people in general go through the same thing but rarely vocalize it.

I’ll be honest I feel emotionally naked.

I have already thought to myself “Do I want to share all this?”

Then, just this week I talked to one of my closest friends. She felt overwhelmed and needed someone to listen. Someone to understand.

We related on so many different levels.

I realized I am not alone.

Someone may not have a friend to go to.

Someone might be like me and hate being vulnerable; or feel awkward to expose themselves emotionally.

So, I decided I’ll continue to write candidly.

For the person that hasn’t found their voice yet.

I am not even sure what mine is but I have a story.

We all do.

My journey has just begun.

I am learning to enjoy the good, bad, and everything in between.

I’m discovering my limits, my flaws, my strengths, and most of all how to be the best version of myself.

My Journey

My Journey

I am on a journey. A new unknown adventure. To me, this is an exploration of self. Finding my identity. Who I am.

For years I have only identified as a mom and a wife. I have forgotten myself as an individual. Who am I? What makes me, me?

I have always answered that by I am a mother of my kids and a partner to my husband.

There’s a huge fear I have, is there a deeper part to me?

I feel like at this age I should have all those answers but I don’t. I am in many ways still discovering myself. I want to stress the description MYSELF. Not the person I am as a parent or spouse.

That is the issue (though a beautiful one) I lost my identity in my family and for a long time I preferred to hide behind that.. I do not know who I am. I give them all I can and I always will.

As a mom I’ve found so much pride in raising my kids. Their accomplishments are mine and their failures are mine as well.  I also have loved being a wife. Growing up I never really realized just how special that partnership is.  I don’t want it ever be construed as me not loving my family, that has never been a issue, they are my life. With that comes the who am I?

I had the realization they all have lives outside of me. My older kids go to school and my husband goes to work. They have separate identities. I am only known as so and so’s mom or wife. I am blessed to be those things and I love those titles, however, in order to fully love them at the highest of my abilities I have to love myself. I can’t love myself if I don’t know who I am or I let myself go.

So, it’s time. This is going to be my journey. Though I may be fearful to start; it is necessary for me and my family. I honestly have needed to do this for years but something has always stopped me. What it was I am not sure.

The first step is, what the heck do I enjoy!? Ummmmmm…. after thinking A LOT there were a few things I came up with. One was writing. As a result I’m here writing my first blog post.

For many years I was interested in starting a blog. Where it takes me I am not sure. The real challenge is to just start and actually post it for the world to see.

Here we go!!