I am on a journey. A new unknown adventure. To me, this is an exploration of self. Finding my identity. Who I am.
For years I have only identified as a mom and a wife. I have forgotten myself as an individual. Who am I? What makes me, me?
I have always answered that by I am a mother of my kids and a partner to my husband.
There’s a huge fear I have, is there a deeper part to me?
I feel like at this age I should have all those answers but I don’t. I am in many ways still discovering myself. I want to stress the description MYSELF. Not the person I am as a parent or spouse.
That is the issue (though a beautiful one) I lost my identity in my family and for a long time I preferred to hide behind that.. I do not know who I am. I give them all I can and I always will.
As a mom I’ve found so much pride in raising my kids. Their accomplishments are mine and their failures are mine as well. I also have loved being a wife. Growing up I never really realized just how special that partnership is. I don’t want it ever be construed as me not loving my family, that has never been a issue, they are my life. With that comes the who am I?
I had the realization they all have lives outside of me. My older kids go to school and my husband goes to work. They have separate identities. I am only known as so and so’s mom or wife. I am blessed to be those things and I love those titles, however, in order to fully love them at the highest of my abilities I have to love myself. I can’t love myself if I don’t know who I am or I let myself go.
So, it’s time. This is going to be my journey. Though I may be fearful to start; it is necessary for me and my family. I honestly have needed to do this for years but something has always stopped me. What it was I am not sure.
The first step is, what the heck do I enjoy!? Ummmmmm…. after thinking A LOT there were a few things I came up with. One was writing. As a result I’m here writing my first blog post.
For many years I was interested in starting a blog. Where it takes me I am not sure. The real challenge is to just start and actually post it for the world to see.
Here we go!!