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I Wish I Could Be More Like My Toddler

I Wish I Could Be More Like My Toddler

I should take notes from my toddler. She is quite amazing. I’m not saying that just because she is my child, though I am in awe of her. She inspires me in a way I would of never expected a two year old to be able too. She is confident and fearlessly vocal. She knows her likes and dislikes, she demands love and gives it right back. She has a fierce independence with an I can figure anything out attitude. Yes, this is my little girl, my mighty two year old teaching me lessons of confidence and strength.

Maybe it’s her innocence, the world has gotten to her yet. I hope it never does, though I know it will. I guess I should say I hope the world helps her grow and she always holds on the her ability to be so full of life. She walks with a  love for herself I never have witnessed before. Like this is who I am and I like me!

This isn’t to say raising a small child that is so vocally independent is easy.  There’s plenty of battles. She is a demanding little girl and will let you know when she doesn’t like what is going on. For me, there is something amazingly beautiful about that. At times I want to pull my hair out but more often I appreciate the fact she doesn’t settle, I don’t want her to loose that.

Watching her has made me grow. I’ve taken a closer look at myself and realized I stuffed a lot of who I am down. I feared not being accepted or loved. One day I was explaining to my mom how my daughter was, through my exhaustion I was saying it was hard to keep up with her. I exclaimed “where does she get this boldness from!?” My mom looked at  me a laughed. I was baffled, I looked at her confused. She simply said ” she’s just like you”.  It was like a flash went through my head, I was able to remember all those “little” things I wouldn’t give in on as a child or how I never wanted anything done for me because I knew I could do it myself. In that glimpse of a moment I was jolted with appreciation, for myself… for my little girl.

I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine. My life is full of love, I get the chance to raise two precious boys and a little girl. She is a tough, beautiful, fearless, independent, caring, and I will continue to encourage her tenacity to go after what she wants. I refuse to put limits on her or make her feel like it’s not okay to be bold. I will teach her boundaries, respect, and love. She is the strongest little lady I have ever known, she has taught me more about myself then I could have ever learned from years of soul searching. I am thankful for her love but most of all I appreciate her for exactly who she is.  In a crazy wonderful way I love and appreciate myself now too.

 

 

 

 

** This post was freehand with limited edits, Please be kind. Thank you**

 

How To Give Your Kids the Gift of Confidence

How To Give Your Kids the Gift of Confidence

Raising your child is the biggest responsibility you will ever have. It’s not only about loving them, you have to guide them and give them the ability to love themselves. Every parent wants their children to gain the tools to be their best self. Taking the time to raise confident children will provide them a positive self-image.

By working hard to teach your children that maximum effort will help them reach their goals, and the tenacity to understand setbacks are learnable moments, they will learn that the only limits they have are the ones they place on themselves.

As a  parent it’s your job to instill confidence within your children. It is essential to give them the ability to stand tall and be happy with who they are. You have to take the steps to increase their fortitude to make decisions and encourage them to communicate what they’re feeling. When their morale is developed they won’t feel the need to follow others and know that mistakes are okay.

One of the most crucial things parents can do is teach kids to love themselves. You have to give your children the power to excel and it begins with their confidence.

There are nine pivotal things we can implement with our children to give them unstoppable confidence.

  1. One, Remind your kids what they are good at. Each child has a gift. Whether it’s drawing, kicking a soccer ball, dancing, being loving, or super funny make sure you tell them. Kid’s thrive when they are given positive feedback. It increases their self-esteem immensely and assists them in recognizing their talents. When you cheer on your kids you boost their confidence instantly.
  2. Next, teach them it’s okay to not always win as long as they put in 100%. Kid’s often feel like failures if they aren’t at the top. Their spirit is easily shot and they’ll want to stop whatever it is they aren’t exceptional at. It’s important that they know they won’t be the best at everything- but giving 100% is what matters. Focusing on their ability to perform at their highest level will give them crucial fundamental skills as they grow older. Not being number one at everything is okay- don’t let them give up on themselves. They will eventually find that one passion that feeds their heart and nourishes their confidence.
  3. Write them notes. Put them in their bathroom, lunchboxes, folders, on their place mats, or even in their shoes. Write a simple I love you, wish them a great day, or tell them they’re awesome! Finding these little unexpected gems let’s your child know they are special and you’re thinking about them. They will treasure your thoughtfulness- plus it may find them right when they need their day brightened. From your love alone your child gains assurance and security.
  4. Be involved. Kid’s need their parents. It’s crucial for them to be able to talk to you and feel accepted. They need the guarantee you’ll attend their concert or game. They want the confidence of knowing you’ll be at their class party or be home to tuck them in. Being involved with what is going on in their world will let them know you care and want to be there. Take that extra step to actively be a part of their life not just raise them.
  5. Have a mantra. At an early age have kids repeat a mantra to themselves. Whenever they need an extra boost or feel less confident they can refer back to this statement. As they repeat it they’ll remember all the things they’ve accomplished through this mantra. You can create whatever one you want as long as it motivates them. A good one could be: “I believe in myself, I believe in myself, I believe in myself.” Anytime they feel like they need an edge to conquer a challenge teach them to close their eyes, focus, and repeat their saying over and over. Kids need to be taught to stand on their own. This is a technique that can help them when they need a little push.
  6. Teach them hard work will translate to achievement. Tell them to work hard, to not give up, and believe they can do it. Let them know it’s not always simply attainable but working hard will eventually lead to success. Remind them most things that are worth it don’t come easy but the effort will pay off. One day all the hard work will get them to their desired goal- their perseverance will be instrumental in them achieving it.
  7. Let your child make decisions. Your child has to learn to make judgments on their own. Allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Although a misstep is often looked at negatively it is a learning experience for a child (anyone, really). Go over it with them, see what they took from the outcome. What was their point of view? Right or wrong they have to navigate their way and determine what works. If parents don’t allow their children to make choices they will never gain confidence in their capabilities.
  8. Let them talk. Give them the benefit to explain what happened, what they want to occur, or how they feel. This gives them the tool to communicate confidently. Parents can have the habit of wanting to take over and control a situation. Give your child the capacity to articulate their thoughts and feelings accurately.
  9. Provide DAILY positive reinforcement. Tell them good job- give them a pat on the back. Guide them along the way when needed. Celebrate their individuality and their expression of who they are. When a child knows they have the support of their parents their confidence will be secure and will grow consistently. Most of all tell your children you love them without conditions daily.

It’s your privileged duty to give your children the power to excel and it begins with  building their confidence. Raising kids is not easy. Most days you’ll be exhausted. Sometimes you’ll even question if you’re doing it right. Our most precious gifts are our children. You have to provide them with the confidence to be who they are, to discover the world, and live to their fullest potential.

How one moment can define your life

How one moment can define your life

One moment. A Single choice. A sole action can alter the course of your life forever. Everyone has defining moments in their life, the metaphorical fork in the road, the decision to go left or right. Whether we realize it or not, while we live day by day, each choice shapes our life. Sometimes those moments are glaringly clear. You leave a job, end a relationship, move to a new city, etc. What about those ones that you never expected to change everything? The instant choice that alters your life permanently. One moment can be powerful enough to change the course of your life forever.

What many of us fail to realize is not all defining moments are huge and explosive. They aren’t always clearly spelled out and in our face. Sometimes our moments happen unknowingly. By just living, deciding, and taking action we are constructing our lives. We are taking an active role in how our life plays out. As I look back I see clear moments that made me who I am today.

These occurrences begin in childhood. I can remember very specific moments that changed the course of my life. One very clear memory is when I was in sixth grade going into seventh. To welcome the soon to be seventh graders the school would hold a dance. During this time I was confronted by a girl that was one of my supposed “best friends” for the last two years. This girl made everyone feel so special when they were her best friend. The issue was, every week she would have a different best friend and pit other girls against the person she chose as an outsider for that time.  

I gained a lot of unneeded insecurities in those years and lost my trust toward “friends”.  During our confrontation I was the enemy of the week. She walked up to me during the dance and yelled “Do you have a problem with me!?” I was shocked at her aggression and was embarrassed by the circle of people around her. With just as much attitude as hers I replied back “Yea, I do!” she angrily asks “Why!?” I had several thoughts in that moment: Why is she acting like this, why can’t we just dance, this isn’t a friend, and so on. All that came out was “ because you’re evil!” I then quickly walked away and tried to enjoy the rest of my night.

I’d like to note I am aware my behavior was just as negative as hers.  I would NEVER want my children to behave this way. That is a definite regret from that memory. I could of held myself up to a better standard. I learned a lot about myself and how that made me feel acting that way.

What I didn’t comprehend was a lot happened from that moment. One, she was shocked and at the time I took it as her not caring. What really happened is she got hurt and started to cry. I heard (later) she called her Dad to pick her up. Two, we didn’t talk again till we were juniors in high school. Even then we were never truly friends again. We acted like we didn’t even know each other and still do.

One moment, one single action changed who my friends were forever. There was a group of us that would hang out and I removed myself from all of them except one or two. As an adult I don’t talk to any of them, I only interact with them through social media very distantly. Although I “lost” friendships it forced me to gain new ones.

Entering into a new school and faze of my life I met a lot of new people. That one moment made it possible for me to be open to new friends. I was cautious to who I trusted and became close too. The friends I made in that time had to be accepting of who I was without conditions as I would be to them. I have many of those friends till this day. Two of my very best friends, that I consider family,  I met that year.

Sometimes a defining moment starts off feeling overwhelming and impossible. I remember questioning myself a lot. In that “friendship” I never felt good about myself. I thought negatively about who I was and tried to do what that friend wanted instead of being myself. I never felt good enough.  I  learned so much about what a friend was not suppose to be and what I was willing to deal with. Although, I wish I would’ve handled myself better, I do believe the outcome benefited me in the long run.

One moment can be powerful enough to change the course of your life forever. Looking back to see how you got to where you are can provide such valuable insight. I always thought of that memory as a simple moment in my life but it was clearly a defining moment. As an adult woman with three kids I can use my experience to guide my children about friendship and loving themselves.

Determined to be the woman my daughter needs

Determined to be the woman my daughter needs

When I was told I was having a baby girl I don’t think I realized the gravity our relationship would have on me. The strong bond that would easily develop. She makes me look at myself and want to be better, a better person…a better woman.  I feel a responsibility to be a good example of what a woman is or can be. I’m amazed with her knack to learn all my bad habits while also shining a light on my best qualities. I am hyper aware she’s taking mental notes and trying my best to be the role model she deserves. I am blessed to be gifted with the trust to raise my beautiful little girl.

I know she’s watching me. Every move I make she studies so intently. Sometimes I’ll even catch her mimicking an exact movement, trying to perfect it, so she can be just like mommy. As I clean, she uses a cloth to go over areas I just did. As I read, she sits and bangs on her book then reads aloud with it upside down. As I brush my teeth, she watches me intensely and whimpers for her toothbrush to brush her own.

Her mood often reflects my own. My habits slowly becoming hers. The love she has for me is unconditional as is mine for her. I look at her and know the magnitude of my responsibility.

She looks to me as a model of what a woman is. She will forever be shaped by my example. She is strong, independent, and wise all on her own but still needs the loving guidance of her mommy.

I will stand tall so she knows to always be confident. I will be respectful to show her kindness and warmth is invaluable. I will speak clearly to exemplify intelligence is beauty. I will work hard so she knows her independence is admirable. I will continue to love her without conditions and encourage her fearlessness.

My sweet little girl, I know you are watching me. I know I will make mistakes but I will always be the best woman I can be. I want to show you a woman can be anything they want.

If you wish it, go after it, do it my love. My promise to you is to keep pushing. All things are possible with belief and hard work. I love you forever.

My greatest hope for my children

My greatest hope for my children

If you would ask me what I want to instill in my kids I could go with many typical answers. Which would be I want them to believe in themselves, be respectful, try their best, be trustworthy, and so on. I truly do want all those things for them but there is more to the picture when it comes to my parenting hopes. As their mom I think it’s my privileged duty to teach them those values. It’s my job to raise children that will have morals and be outstanding citizens. I have even bigger dreams for them. I want my kids to pursue life with a vengeance, to refuse to give up, and never hold themselves back.

If I can inspire my children to feel anything in this life it would be to not live in fear. I want them to not be afraid of the unknowns or what ifs. For them to be free of trepidation and never hold themselves back. I hope for them to see the beauty they possess and understand, wholeheartedly, anything is possible. I wish for them to soak in life’s abundance of experiences and be okay with occasional failure. I want them to understand passion can come from unexpected places that includes fear and hardships. I hope they get we only have one beautiful and hopefully long life, so live fully.

I hope they grow and learn from each mistake. I wish for them to laugh daily and love fully. I want their fears to promote excitement and never-ending adventures.

I want my kids to pursue life with a vengeance, to refuse to give up, and never hold themselves back. If there is one thing I accomplish in my lifetime it’s not only for my kids to know I love them endlessly but for them to live fearless. To my kids I hope I inspire strength, love, possibility, and most of all the power to not be hindered by fear. I love you my precious babies.

Learning to Be Positive When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Learning to Be Positive When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Okayso it is time for me to meet a positive with my (unfortunate) continuous trip down the rabbit hole of negativity. Call it anxiety or whatever…I need to remind myself just how beautiful my life is. My husband calls it nagging, I call it stress, we both need to realize its all going to be okay. I know for every single pessimistic thing I think, or comes out my mouth, there is a greater and more positive outlook.

Maybe my kitchen is a constant mess with crumbs, never-ending dishes, and sticky floors BUT my kids have healthy meals and full tummies.

And what about my baby that won’t stop crying… (I have to remind myself) at least she can express her emotions.

Now the car needs expensive repairs (great)! I’m lucky to have a good vehicle though.

While I am at it, it would really be nice get alone time, but my hubby always comes home late from work. Snap out of it! You have a hard working dedicated partner.  

You know what!? I also HATE my post-pregnancy body. However, I carried and birthed 3 healthy kids (so blessed). I also have the ability to CHANGE what I don’t like.

Hmmmm while I’m at it I really don’t want to cook dinner. BUUTTT at least we have food for me to do so- thank you.

Dannnng I  also missed my deadline to post on my blog- no! Change that thought.  I  have an amazing family that keeps me busy.

Crap- my home is so cluttered but we have items to sit on, eat on, touch, and use.

If you look for the negative you will find it. I choose to not soak in it, if I think with a poor outlook I’m going to meet it with a positive. I realize most of my stresses are because I am lucky enough to have a home filled with love. What causes me anxiety also gives me joy. If you want to bring happiness to yourself and feel happy, you have to be positive person. It may take hard work but it’s possible if you strive to work on the inner you.

Keep going!