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Goals for 2018 *[Plus HUGE Announcement]*

Goals for 2018 *[Plus HUGE Announcement]*

Every year I set goals for myself. They aren’t so much resolutions but more so accomplishments I’d like to reach in the New Year. Sometimes I meet all of what I set out toward and other times I fail miserably. These include any type of goal from small to big, simple to complex. For me, it’s about setting them and working toward it.  My goals range vastly. This year I am focused bettering the quality of my life. I am determined to take the steps toward self-improvement. Here’s a snippet of what I am setting out to accomplish this year…

First things first, I want to start my day every morning with some discipline and end it with relaxation. One of the simplest ways I know I can accomplish this is simply making my bed Every. Single. Day. (or as often as possible). This is a way for me to have structure combined with some calm. This is something so easy that I have always attempted. One year I will actually do it regularly, I use to but a lot has changed.

On that note, I plan to get out of my house at least once a week. I know that may sound weird but bare with me… between Lupus, Ehlers Danlos, Fibromyalgia, and all the o’ so fun symptoms that come with them I often find myself closed off from everything. If it doesn’t have to do with my husband, kids, or the family the refuses to let me hid I am a hermit.

I can go weeks without stepping out my front door ( I know that is so not okay). I have to live a better quality life, I need to get out. Even if that means I get pushed in my wheelchair. It’s unhealthy for me not see life outside my home. Whether I’m out for ten minutes or an hour I HAVE to get out.

This leads into my next goal. Through all my health issues I found my voice, I learned to advocate for myself, and was forced to research A LOT of information. I realized I’m not alone, many of us with chronic illness go through the same difficulties. My biggest goal in 2018 is to launch my business venture helping others with similar issues.

Let me give some details, as Lupus progressed throughout my body I began to realize I had a reaction to certain foods, makeup, lip balms, etc. After a TON of research and pain I finally narrowed it down. I discovered I developed a gluten intolerance. I found it challenging to find quality gluten free items including vitamins, beauty, and other essential products. It was alarming to me to find just how hard it was to get what I needed.

I am proud so say with the help of my husband and mom we created a company that will offer ALL gluten free products. My constant research has paid off and I want to share it with everyone! The line will include products like face wash and lip balms with the addition of more items throughout the year. The great thing is these products aren’t exclusive to people struggling with Lupus or a gluten intolerance.

To say I am excited and feel blessed would be an understatement. Having the chance to help others that struggle with similar issues is such a blessing.

We will be launching online early this year.  So, I guess this is my impromptu announcement…

 

NixEssentials.com coming soon!!

 

 

This year is going to be a good year. I can feel it in my bones. I am looking forward to so much. I’m determined to soak in all I can. My hope is that each of you have set goals and are willing to work your a** off the reach them. No matter if they are big or small, simple or complex, GO FOR IT!

 

 

***Written freehand with limited edit, Please be kind, Thank you***

Where Have I been….

Where Have I been….

I don’t mean to disappear. A lot of the times I have to choose between resting, spending time with my family, or blogging. I work hard to manage my energy and time. If something has to give it’s going to be my blog. Not because I don’t love it, this is my favorite thing to do. To have the ability to communicate with others is such blessing. This is just mine, I don’t do it for my family or to gain notoriety, I do it for me. I absolutely hate that any length of time goes by without publishing a post. I am not sure how to rectify posting more consistently but I am thankful for those who continue to join in.

I wanted to write a quick post explaining where I have been. My health is up and down as I have talked in length about. My hope is that eventually my meds will kick in and I can communicate with everyone on a regular basis. I feel so lucky to have found a way to talk with others about lupus, fibro, ehlers danlos and everything in between. Not feeling so alone has been a tremendous boost in my morale. I am so thankful for those who have stuck with me.

I am planning on posting this week. I have a lot to say (per usual). This twisted road seems to never end but I am determined to handle it with grace. I have to find some type of stability. Blogging gives me a way to let it all out and regain some composure. That’s one of the most important steps, having something just for you. So, needless to say I will be putting more effort into what helps me. I’d Love to hear what helps others. Next post will be up Thursday!

 

Have a great week!!

 

 

 

** Wrote freehand with limited edits, please be kind**

Is Failure Our Chance To Learn?

Is Failure Our Chance To Learn?

There was a time in my life that I would say ” I failed, I quit, I can’t do it.” I’d basically sabotage myself with a single mistake. My thoughts went right into me not being good enough or somehow thinking I am not capable. I’m not even sure where that thought process came from but it was there… for many many years. It took for me to go through all these dang health issues to realize I wasn’t being realistic. I mean, really let’s think about this, I fail… ok, if I am being fair to myself shouldn’t it be my opportunity to learn? It’s more like our failures and trials make us strong.

I’ve finally embraced that thought process. I had no choice but to accept it. If I never got to this point I’d be miserable. There has been plenty of ups and downs. Now, I gladly take the all. I’ve learned to say THANK YOU.

I fall…thank you, I soar… thank you, I mess up… thank you, I triumph… thank you.

Do you know why I say thank you!?

Because I get the chance to experience it all. To feel it, to cry, laugh, scream. To have the opportunity to learn from it and celebrate.

I get to celebrate my failures. Yes, my failures. I had the chance to try at least. To go after whatever I wanted to work toward. If I don’t succeed, guess what!? I get to try again. That is the beautiful thing. There’s no stopping till we say stop, till we give up, and I am not about to do that!

The crazy thing is it took a very long time for me to give myself permission to feel this way. It happened because I’ve gone through the most challenging time in my life. I realized damn it if I can get through this why the heck did I ever hold myself back, why didn’t I believe in myself!? I am so much stronger and resilient than I ever gave myself credit for.

So, here I am. I failed. I didn’t accomplish something I set out to do. I actually failed pretty miserably. Whether it was in my control or not, I set a goal and I wasn’t even close to meeting it. I gained a lot of perspective, I was able to see the adjustments I needed to make and not beat myself up over it. I felt pretty bad though but would of felt worse if I didn’t dust myself off.

That’s my only choice, to not give in. I won’t allow it. I hope you don’t either. We are challenged in order to get us to the next level. I face my failures with pride. Believe in your vision and don’t stop till you get there!

Keep Going!!

 

 

 

 

*** Please be kind, wrote freehand with limited edits, Thank you!****

 

 

Why Do a Seven Day Blog Challenge!??

Why Do a Seven Day Blog Challenge!??

I want to elaborate about why I decided to do something so unconventional for myself. I could draw out my explanation but to put it simply I needed to wake up!! This is the figurative splash of water on my face. I NEED to get out of my daze of normal. If I am comfortable I like to stay there and that is not necessarily what’s best.

I thought what could I do, for myself, that would get me out of my comfort zone. Remember, I despise being uncomfortable. I’m a overplanner, worrier, always have a plan B type of gal. So, with that, I decided to throw away all my “rules” and just jump in.

I created a simple guideline for myself.

1. All my post will be freehand with very limited edits.

2. I will be open and hope to break through a barrier I’ve created within myself.

3. & Lastly, I hope to not miss any days.

I am not going for lengthy post rather more quality post about life. I want to be raw, unedited.

If you decide to join me in this challenge it is all about self-awareness and growth. Whatever that means to you. You can tag me via twitter or is the hashtag #crazywonderful.

Life is about discovery. Push your limits. There’s so much out there to experience.

Let’s do this!!

Post one done…phew… hope to see you back here tomorrow! 

#crazywonderful

Announcement! Sometimes you just have to go for it!!

Announcement! Sometimes you just have to go for it!!

Hello! I recently decided to create a blogging challenge for myself. I will be starting off with 7 days, then take a small break, and hop back into it with 7 more days.  My plan is to write more about me, who I am, my values, what I aim to improve on, etc. I figure you guys will get to know me better but also hope it opens the door for others to process who they are/ want to be. 

A fair warning, I will not be editing heavily, more like write and go! I want to be authentic and not overthink everything too much (my Kryptonite). 

My first post will be up tomorrow. I’m excited to try something totally new.

If any other bloggers want to join in please do! Make sure to share with me 🙂 

Cheers to new challenages!!! 

#crazywonderful

To My Husband, I Know This Isn’t Easy

To My Husband, I Know This Isn’t Easy

I’m not surprised, I know it’s hard to deal with this. This beast. It’s taken over our lives. There are ups and downs, small wins with lots of trying to comprehend what is going on with my body. It would be hard on anyone, but he has been my rock. Everyone has their breaking point, where it all just seems to be overwhelming.  I’ve had to lean on people more than I ever have my entire adult life. But he, he has been incredible. As soon as he realized the depth of my pain and discomfort he has been my shield. He has been my warmth, he has been my everything. 

We’ve always had an amazing relationship. From the moment we met sparks flew. I was in denial for a good while but he is surely the one person I need most in this world. He has been my anchor, my best friend, my entire being.

I often have a waves of guilt, feeling like this isn’t what he signed up for. I get lost in my own thoughts a lot of time, thinking this isn’t how it was meant to be. For him, for me. I place a huge amount of blame on myself. Maybe if I was stronger, or if I could figure this out on my own- then I wouldn’t stress him. I feel like such a burden although he reassures me I am not, I know this is all consuming.

I saw our love story so different. I thought I’d be able to love him vigorously without any limitations. I am not who I was. I feel weak, not just physically but for the first time I feel it mentally as well. All of me has been attacked.

All I need is for him to know I love him, that I appreciate all he does, and I know this isn’t easy. I feel it in my bones, in my mind…in my heart. The comfort of unconditional love he has provided me has been more than I could of ever hoped for. The love of my life is truly my rock. He is protective and caring, he is warm and loving, I am the luckiest woman in the world. I can only hope he knows I feel the extent of his love.

You’re always told marriage will have its obstacles, your told to always put each other first and love without conditions. We honestly never expected this and even with a curve ball thrown I have seen a side of him that has made me fall deeper in love, I didn’t even know that was possible… to love him more. I loved him before I even knew what love was, he’s shown me beauty and has challenged me in every way I can think of…in the best ways. 

I just want to say thank you. I am so honored you choose me. With my flaws you still love me, with my illness you still love ME, with everything you still love me. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a great love but I will forever hold it tight.

I love you

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Written freehand with limited edits. Please be kind. Thank you***

Don’t Take a Lifetime To Find Your Happy

Don’t Take a Lifetime To Find Your Happy

If you could take a moment, just a few minutes, to sit back and evaluate your life, do you think you could be completely honest with yourself? For there not to be a life-changing circumstance to give you perspective, just for you to have the will to look deeper and analyze if you’re living your happiest life?

It took me a long time to get here. I’d say my entire lifetime. To see who I am, accept it, and love me without apology, or the need to please others. I’m not saying I live in a way to push others away but more so, I live my happy. If I feel like it’s not conducive for me or my family I do not feel the need to but a part of it. I am more focused on my wants, my needs. It was a long twisty road to get here but I’d travel it all over again.

At times, I wish I didn’t have to experience some of the things I did in order to figure all this out, although, I know they are the reason why I am able to write this. The truth is, all I have gone through has made me a heck of a lot stronger. My perspective has been shaped in such a beautiful way. I don’t think it would ever be possible with out all the twist and turns.

For a long long lonnnngggg time I felt the need to prove myself. To my parents, to my family, to people I barely knew, and sadly I left out myself. I thought Oh, they will see my worth. They will see I don’t need them. They will see…..

No matter what I did though, I still wasn’t happy. I was the BEST mom, I was the BEST wife, I was the BEST friend, I was the BEST sister, I was the BEST daughter, I was the BEST….me? I forgot all about me. I was so focused on finding my acceptance through others, I thought would validate me, I forgot about me. In the end, I broke me.

I tumbled down the rabbit hole of being  lost, feeling useless, not recognizing myself. Because if I wasn’t the best for other people how could I even care about me? My thoughts on what made me lovable were so warped. I didn’t even think to love me. That I needed to love me in order to be loved and love others fully.

I wore a mask of strength and I wore it fiercely. I only could hope nobody would see the insecure little girl I really felt I was.

Then, it happened. Like a ton of bricks fell on me making me incapable of moving.  I was forced to take a moment, (or several consecutive months) sit back, and evaluate my life. It honestly felt like I was facing down a huge storm that only I could calm. I didn’t even know if I could or where I would start. All I did know is I needed to figure it out for me and my family, but for once mostly for me.

I had to learn to be selfish, to say no, and to pull away from the toxicity in my life. I learned to be alone and focus on myself. For me, I needed a life-changing circumstance to wake me up. To make me say HEY!! YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Years ago I would scoff I the mere thought of me blogging and actually publishing this lengthy post. I’d think why!? Who would read it, what would be the benefit?? But the reason why is simple, it for me. It’s my happy.

So, I guess this post is about you doing the same. If you’re already there GREAT! For everyone else, you’re not alone. Without the events that took place in my life I am unsure if I would of ever gained the insight I desperately needed to wake up and choose to create the life I want to live.

We ALL have our stories but not all of us hear our wake up call to find our happy. If there is anything I have learned is we one get this one life, there is no time to look back with regret, it’s all about forward movement. What can you do NOW that will improve your life and how YOU feel about you? I am ready to let go of the burdens of my past on focus on my future, on what is next, toward what is my happy.

 

 

 

 

***Please be kind, written freehand with limited edits. Thank you!***

10 Motivational & Inspiration Quotes to Jumpstart Your Week

10 Motivational & Inspiration Quotes to Jumpstart Your Week

First week in a new month! Time to focus on what you want to accomplish and indulge in some positivity. Most of us have heard you become what you surround yourself with, so why not immerse yourself in good vibes!? Let’s get energized for the week and focus on success. Whether you need motivation for work, family, love, or health- know you will conquer it with persistence and perseverance. Nobody said it will be easy but it will be worth it!

Ten quotes to enhance your week:

  1. To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist. – Oscar Wilde
  2. Have the dogged determination to achieve your goal regardless of circumstances or whatever other people say, think or do. – Paul J. Meyer
  3. “I never lose; I either win or learn.”
    – Nelson Mandela
  4. Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.
    – Coco Chanel
  5. You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations. -Stevie Wonder
  6. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open. -Thomas Dewar
  7. “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” – William James
  8. “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
    – Lou Holtz
  9. “A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”
    – Elbert Hubbard
  10. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Choose wisely.- Vala Afshar

Tackle your week with a vengeance!!!!

Life might be crazy but is sure is wonderful!

What Blogging Means to Me

What Blogging Means to Me

I first started to blog as an escape, as a outlet for me to express myself. There is no judgement when I write, just my freedom. To have the ability to accurately convey my thoughts through my writing is just what I need. Before I started to blog I felt lost. Independently I had no clue who I was. I, of course, have always been a proud mom and wife but questioned who I was without those titles. That all changed, not only do I know me but I love me. I value who I am and my writing helped me get there.

Being an active blogger has allowed me a little space in the world that’s just mine. I have a voice to be heard, no matter the content. If there is one thing I’ve learned from blogging it’s to write about what’s on your mind, what you love, or what you’re going through, just to name a few. It was a process to sit down and let the words flow organically. I gave myself the permission to be open through my writing and let go of the reservation or fear.

Blogging has been a journey that has changed my life. It forced me to take a closer look at my inner-self. At times I saw things I despised and vowed to improve on, in the same instance,  it helped me focus on my strengths. It’s given me a silent confidence that has been missing for so long. 

I started to blog around the same time my health issues started to take over. I didn’t even realize the two coincided. I had a “reason” for each problem I was experiencing from anxiety to fatigue… there had to be a explanation.  My writings became my therapy and a form to reflect on what was occurring.

My anxiety led me to push myself to begin blogging. I felt like the only time I could get a hold of myself was when I wrote. If I felt negative I wrote what it took to be positive. I’d express what it takes to overcome obstacles, where to find strength, or how to love yourself. All things I struggled with. Those writings made it possible for me to grow, I gained perspective, and most of I fell in love with me.

Blogging regularly gave me just what I needed when I needed it. The process has been eye-opening and has given me insight I couldn’t have gotten anywhere else. It’s me, in my own words. The power of being a blogger is something I will forever be thankful for and cherish.

Pushing beyond Your Own Thoughts

Pushing beyond Your Own Thoughts

Talk it out

hard to trust

fear being vulnerable

can’t see beyond this

Heartaches

Fighting your hardest

Feels like you can’t win

Struggling but refuse to quit

have to fight

Going to be strong

One day…. no CHANGE that, TODAY!

Cry, vent, get mad

Express it

Get it out

Process

Grow

MOVE ON!!

Give yourself the chance you deserve.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!